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Mad scientists blame time travelers for collider failure

Mad scientists blame time travelers for collider failure

It was weird enough that scientists said a bird dropping a piece of bread on an electrical substation managed to shut down power to the Large Hadron Collider. Now two respected physicists are blaming that incident on a time-traveling bird, which was said to thwart the collider's mission of finding the Higgs boson, a particle thought to be the building block that gives everything in the universe its mass.

Bech Nielsen of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto theorize that there's something so dangerous about the collider, time travelers are coming back to 2009 and sabotaging the experiment. They're calling it "reverse chronological causation." That's right folks, it's a bird, flying right out of the Time Tunnel, saving the universe. Or could future life forms be trying to keep us from traveling to the stars?

Come to think of it, every time scientists try to capture the illusive Higgs boson, there are inexplicable failures. Twice, in 1993 and 2000, funding suddenly dried up for two separate projects. And then this Large Hadron Collider has had a series of setbacks, including one incident where a physicist was accused of terrorist activity.

So what do we do, wait around until thousands of years from now to finally find out if there really is something horribly dangerous about finding the Higgs boson? Or should we go on about our business, innocently trying to stumble upon the secrets of the building blocks of the universe? Note to future humans: if you're saving us from doomsday, thanks.

Via Time

 
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(29) COMMENTS

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What I find perplexing is why these "scientists" think they can reveal the hypothetical higgs boson by recreating c...More »


Comments

By TearEmUp at 12:37 PM ON 11/13/09

Temporal terrorists? I think the bunch at Large Hadron Collider have been watching too many re-runs of Enterprise....

By e at 12:51 PM ON 11/13/09

So the time travelers, lol, are worried more about the higgs bosen, than a country electing someone like W! Now thats funny. Bring on the black hole.

By beowuff at 12:54 PM ON 11/13/09

Please. If they can "send back a bird" then they can find a more obvious way to tell us to knock it off. Don't these scientists get background checks/psychiatric evaluations before being aloud to work on such an important project?

By Crapiola at 12:54 PM ON 11/13/09

Any blog with a picture from Time Tunnel is a good blog.

By Carpe at 12:56 PM ON 11/13/09

Higgs boson. Isn't that an old merchant marine deck hand? You know, like "the Higgs boson dropped anchor." Maybe that's what they need at the Large Hadron Collider, a good deck hand to keep things tidy.

By The Higgs Boson at 1:00 PM ON 11/13/09

The published paper said nothing about time-traveling birds, but then I wouldn't expect either literacy nor accuracy from bloggers at any site owned by Syfy. In the future, we don't allow illiterates to blog without adult supervision.

http://twitter.com/the_higgs_boson

By Carpe at 1:09 PM ON 11/13/09

A bird dropped a baguette into part of the collider, and scientists theorized that time travelers are sabotaging the experiment. So, put the two together and you get a time travelling bird. It's sarcasm.

By SP Riley at 1:27 PM ON 11/13/09

Ignore this article. We are not trying to prevent you from making a world worst than your possible dreams. Just accept the collider will never work and go on about your lives. There are no individuals from the Temporal Security Force here.

By Norritt at 1:43 PM ON 11/13/09

We are the time police, warden of superjail we have come for you!!

By Pennarin at 1:50 PM ON 11/13/09

Biggest piece of hogwash, evar!

By Gnume at 2:37 PM ON 11/13/09

Paradox ... In order for the future travelers to know about this and be concerned was for it to have worked during the "Prime" timeline. So if it worked, and they know about it, it obviously did not destroy the planet. Of course, that just implies that they are actually ALIEN Time Travelers trying to save humanity.

By Dj57 at 3:09 PM ON 11/13/09

My question is: If "they"are coming back through time to save us. Just what are we supposed to be doing with the darn thing?!!

By Carpe at 3:28 PM ON 11/13/09

Isn't this the plot to Flash Forward? Time travellers come back and black out the world during the Large Hadron Collider startup so that the Higgs Boson has time to hide.

By Brass Orchid at 3:39 PM ON 11/13/09

Temporal travel is hardly requisite. Multidirectional causality by proximity should be the standard in quantum probablility. You cannot stay wedded to the idea that temporal motion and spatial motion are related. Spatial motion is only related to changes in the quantum processes by which we measure temporal motion. I presently suggest that events present changes among other events by a mechanism similar to that of gravitational influence among bodies of mass. The hypothetical Higgs Boson is a quantum wave that is not realized at present levels of energy density, remaining as a wave and not achieving particle formation. In other words, it was definitely time-traveling birds.

By TriFyre at 4:26 AM ON 11/14/09

I think that this is an issue that shouldn't be looked at too seriously or simply. No, birds didn't come from the future to drop bread, but how do you know that it didn't save a million lives? Things are getting very... complicated latley. It seems almost every day something that we previously belived as true is proved false, and things that we "knew" were impossiple are done. Just 500 years ago everyone "knew" the earth was flat. Maybe some things just don't need to be explored or answered. Oh yeah, Fox news is the devil!

By clockworked24.7 at 6:43 AM ON 11/14/09

well duh!! If they are able to travel back in time from the future, obviously we didn't mess the future up enough to cause a real problem....

I mean Mad Max could barely find a tank of gas, let alone make a time machine...

shooot... think people, think! lol

By MNgolfer at 7:34 PM ON 11/14/09

I foresee nothing but problems with the collider. It's obviously a very sensitive piece of engineering. It will take time (no pun intended) for the bugs, or birds, to be worked out.

I predict an successful test a few years down the road. Say, December 21, 2012.

By WhyNot at 8:09 AM ON 11/15/09

Time is after-all a perceived unidirectional axis. I fail to understand - barring AXIOMATIC limitation, why should time not be bi-directional? If space-time can be interchanged in explanations, time can become a free axis with Past-Present-Future along it. Why cant Future influence Present when we are ready to agree Past influencing Present. It is just our inability to see time in its REALITY!!

By ScientificSpirit at 12:05 PM ON 11/15/09

With so many of us commenting of a topic such as anything that has to do with the LHC would be a good indication that we all have far reaching minds interested in reaching the limit of science. But maybe we should start realizing the truth behind unlimited possibility by thinking with an unlimited perception. So we can believe that we may discover something so exponentially important to our technology then why can't we believe something or someone came back in time to save us from finding that great discovery in the wrong manner? Why can't we believe this? .........i think we can.

By aminpro at 2:37 PM ON 11/15/09

maybe the LHC will produce a red matter just like the matter in star trek to produce a black hole!

By DoYouWantToKnowMore? at 2:00 AM ON 11/16/09

Oh bambie, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy! ok here's the truth; Every other PowerBall Jackpot winner is a temporal terrorist. Yes its true!

By Dave.T at 12:15 PM ON 11/16/09

Wouldn't time traveling terrorists actually *want* the machine to end the world? They would be helping the HLC instead of hindering it.

By What.If at 8:32 AM ON 11/17/09

Unless LHC is going to save the world

By 618 at 11:59 AM ON 11/18/09

Perhaps the scientists have already deployed high energy collisions and failed to reveal the mythical higgs boson and these stories of setbacks are nothing more than unfounded misinformation with the intention to conceal the truth, that the experiment has failed.... which is ofcourse inevitable, as we don't live in a wave/particle duality, we live in a wave reality.

Sorry Mr professor of particles, you have wasted your life and won't be having your name entered into any future textbook, now then, can your ego come to terms with this realisation?

The truth is out there?

No it ain't my friend, "The truth is IN there"

Oh dear, you have been looking in the wrong direction you silly fools!

By Wayne at 12:55 PM ON 11/19/09

The future time travellers saw video several thousand light years in the future of Megan Fox and when they saw how beautiful humans could be, they travelled her to see an Earth in ruins.

Travelling back in time, they saw how we destroyed ourselves with the evil Higgs Bosun. In an effort to save Megan Fox, they sent their trusty hawk with a half eaten sandwich to thwart the diabolical French speaking scientists from making the "bbbbwwwaaaaahhhhhaaaaa" sound.

Sounds like a good SyFi movie to me!

By FruitOdaLoon at 8:17 PM ON 11/20/09

My underpants are so tight my eyes are bulging

By Knowitall at 8:26 PM ON 11/20/09

Time travel does not exist and never will. No worm holes, portals or other bullshit..........

By The Mad Scientist at 9:33 AM ON 11/21/09

We will either control the universe or we will blow you all up trying! We are the mad scientists! We have no philosophical capacity whatsoever, everything we know comes from a textbook!

The reason why we must conduct this experiment is because we don't know what is going on, and that is because we have no philosophical capacity whatsoever! Heck, we don't even know what is going to happen when we ramp up the TeV, but hey, in order to satisfy our desire for "knowledge" due to the fact that we lack knowledge, we will go ahead with this experiment anyway, even if the potential for a catastrophe is possible.

We are the mad scientists!

By Not the same at 8:48 AM ON 11/24/09

What I find perplexing is why these "scientists" think they can reveal the hypothetical higgs boson by recreating conditions that are "NEARLY" as they were at the point in time fo the hypothetical big bang.....

Colliding protons at NEARLY the speed of light fails to create the same conditions that existed.

Perhaps nature refuses to reveal her secrets... perhaps if these "scientists" even had half a brain they would realise the reason that the human race is unable to build a machine that is capable of colloiding protons at the speed of light is for a very good reason.

Once again, nearly the speed of light is NOT the same as the speed of light.


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