The latest James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, debuts today. For fans of gadgetry, the Daniel Craig "reboot" of the Bond series hasn't given them much to chew on, since the new films leave behind the far-fetched tech toys in favor of gritty realism.
Even though we love gadgets, we like the new approach. In fact, it got the Bond fans here at DVICE to look back on the franchise and remember that sometimes the spy tools Agent 007 pulled out were pretty nuts. More than a few crossed the line from borderline plausible to completely ridiculous.
We scoured all the films in the series to find the most absurd James Bond gadgets — the ones that battered our belief systems beyond all recognition. Your mission: Follow the Continue link and prepare for lethal attacks to your suspension of disbelief.
8. Seiko Watch from The Spy Who Loved Me
The movie used the Seiko model 0674 as Bond's fax watch, printing messages on thin sticky tape. There must be a tiny impact printer in there, ready to print out any message received on yards and yards of tape somehow shoehorned within. While we'd really like to have such a tiny labelmaker, the watch would have to have insides like Doctor Who's TARDIS to accommodate the tape. And come to think of it, it's not even necessary — why not just put the messages on the digital watch face?
7. BMW 750i in Tomorrow Never Dies
We love the remote control that let Bond drive this car with touch-sensitive steering. We'll believe that one, but the car's windows coming out completely unscathed even when they were hit with a huge sledgehammer? That's over the line. If only all cars were made of such completely bulletproof material, they could serve as re-entry vehicles for the International Space Station.
6. Ski Pole/Gun from The Spy Who Loved Me
Of all the things you could make a .30 caliber gun out of, ski poles seem an unlikely choice. How on earth could Bond shoot straight with this thing, even when he's skiing backwards (check it out at 6:00 into this YouTube clip)? Nevertheless, he hits one of the henchmen right in the heart with an exploding bullet/flare that shoots out of the pole's magazine in the handle. The bad guys all have normal guns, why can't Bond have one, too?
5. Polarizing Sunglasses in A View to a Kill
Exactly how do a pair of "polarizing" sunglasses allow Bond to see clearly through heavily tinted glass, catching big, bad Zorin making a shady payoff? Assuming they meant "polarized," the sunglasses would only make tinted glass more opaque, not less. Our disbelief is not suspended with those magic glasses, Mr. Bond.
4. Omega Seamaster Laser Watch in GoldenEye and Die Another Day
Bond's Omega Seamaster wristwatch is truly a miracle worker. We readily buy into its remote-control properties, used to detonate a bomb. But the most unlikely use for it is as a laser, whose mighty beam is powerful enough to cut through steel. A laser that small might blind someone, but cutting through metal? With today's technology, a laser that powerful would fill a room.
3. Wrist Dart Gun from Moonraker
While this isn't as far-fetched as a laser, it's insane on a practical level. Really, who would want to be carrying around cyanide-coated darts attached to a hair trigger? And there are also armor-piercing darts somehow packed in there, too. To accommodate all that ammunition with enough oomph to propel them at velocities shown in the film, it would take a container as big as your arm.
2. Credit Card Lockpick from A View to a Kill
Credit cards can be wonderful, but this shameless plug for The Sharper Image renders our disbelief completely maxed out. Sure, great liberties are regularly taken in the movies with a credit card in a door lock, but this? Inserting it for a couple of seconds in an old window, and its hinge is somehow magically unlatched? Priceless.
1. Invisible Aston Martin Vanquish from Die Another Day
Bond's Aston Martin just up and disappears in this movie, somehow turning invisible. To many Bond fans, this was the last straw — the moment that took his gadgets from mere implausibility to straight-up science fiction. It's true that such light-bending invisibility tech is in the experimental stages, but it's nowhere near the push-button ease of this miraculous stunt. After this one, you can see why the franchise decided to eschew gadgetry in the Daniel Craig reboot.
editor@dvice.com
By CoolProducts at 2:02 PM ON 11/14/08
The invisible aston martin is by far my fav! It even has the special tires!
By Evil Mike at 2:19 PM ON 11/14/08
the BMW 750i in Tomorrow Never Dies... the "glass" had to be Lexan. I work with several types of Lexan every day which, if you beat upon one with a hammer for 30 minutes and then walked away for 5, it would be incredibly difficult to tell if/where you'd been hitting it.
However, Lexan isn't bullet proof... hmm...
By kizer at 2:24 PM ON 11/14/08
For me bond gadgets have always been about wow, I never would of thought of hiding * in there or man that was cool how it transforms. Invisable cars well if that technology doesn't exist then how can it exist.
By ColleyDog at 2:26 PM ON 11/14/08
the invisible aston martin used thousands of little cameras to project the image on one sid of the car to he other side. lol
By Nicole A at 3:33 PM ON 11/14/08
Wanna check out all of Bond's gadgets? I’m not sure if you’ve heard this yet, but I just wanted to let you all know that the entire James Bond movie collection is available in HD for the first time ever now through November 30 (http://blogs.usatoday.com/entertainment/) through Comcast On Demand. There are lots of cool extras including two documentaries and some good stuff from the new movie Quantum of Solace. You can also check out this clip on YouTube which features clips from all 21 Bond films.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnDlWBAOIQ0
By Luga at 3:34 PM ON 11/14/08
yes..the aston uses thousands of little cameras to project the image of what's on the other side to make it invisible....yet Bond used it to hid behind????? explain that one to me?
By anonimytee at 4:10 PM ON 11/14/08
Even Mitnick knows there ain't nothing wrong with lock-picking cards (see link)
By TR at 4:34 PM ON 11/14/08
Bond gadgets have never been expected to be deemed "plausable," let alone "possible." It's campy, but that's half the fun of watching it. The newest Bond films are moving more towards a stylized, brutal set of films as apposed to the whimsical, campy predecessors. Doesn't mean we should vamp on the implausibility of the gadgets - it's all about the image.
Concerning the credit card lock pick: In what sense does this website have any high ground from which to call out a bond film on shameless plugging of a brand. Isn't that pretty much what this site exists for? Shameless brand plugging.
By imotionsrt-4 at 5:02 PM ON 11/14/08
Seriouly...it's a MOVIE.
Sure we would love to see a little believabilty, but James Bond movies are basically about the gadgets....and the chicks.
@TR....The fact that (iphone) you think this website (iphone killer) exists for shameless (iphone) brand plugging (iphone) is simply outrageous (iphone).
Ohh and IPHONE
By sparrrownightmare at 5:17 PM ON 11/15/08
Personally I don't like the newer bond films at all. They have taken all of the over the top fun out of the movies. The new ones are just like the myriad of crime or espionage TV shows which Hollywood seems determined to foist off on the public nowadays. I also don't like Daniel Graig's bond. He seems kind of insecure and at times downright pathetic. The old bond movies were great because they had the impossible gadgets, the unbelievable escapes and the over the edge story lines. If I want to watch some joker shoot up someplace with a 9mm. I will watch CSI Miami. At least CSI is fun to watch.
PS.. Connery would smoke Craig's butt any day of the week.
By KillerCroc at 10:10 PM ON 11/15/08
Funny thing is I remember the first few bond films. They weren't about gadgets they were about...ESPIONAGE!!! Get your heads in the game. Cuz that freakin' laser watch- lame. Dart watch- lamer. Personally I hate the submarine car. That was a super-suck. But really. The movies that I couldn't stand were the ones featuring Pierce Brosnan as 007. I mean really. How bout the North Korean guy with the diamonds embedded in his face? What about the anti-aircraft cannon on his BMW? That was super-lame. Enough with the lame. More awesome.
The best bond of course was Connery followed by Lazenby. But I'm really digging Craig too. He's not just about gadgets.
By gman2006 at 5:39 AM ON 11/16/08
I've never been a huge fan of the Bond movies myself, but I've always enjoyed playing the games. Still, I agree with those choices. It gets to a point where you have to say, "Come on, that's impossible." This article reminded me of the original Power Rangers series and some of the inventions that some of the kids (KIDS mind you) or the blue ranger, Billy, made were even farther out (one where Billy invented a car that could fly, similar to that of the one from Flubber). Although, it is interesting because the person that wrote the James Bond books used to be a actual spy or something for the U.S., didn't he.
By Slug at 6:02 AM ON 11/16/08
You guys need to get over yourselves! There are way worse gadgets than those. The Aston Martin was cool in a that would be cool way. Heaven forbid the movies should only contain factual beings, objects and concepts. Doh.. They are called documentaries:)
By Aerfen at 3:42 PM ON 11/16/08
I have to agree. People get too worked up about whether the gadgets are "realistic" or not. The Bond movies have always been about being fun to go watch. I liked the new one and I think Daniel Craig does a good job at the role but I do not feel they are as Bond like. They are too focused on the fight scenes and making it all gritty. That can be cool but when James Bond becomes too much like Bruce Wilis in Die Hard it takes something away from it I think. Part of what made Bond fun was that he wasn't go in guns blazing with double machine guns. He carried a gun but most often would rely on gadgets and subtlety to get the job done. Currently Bond is not into being subtle. Its about big explosions lots of fighting and shooting, not the suave, witty Bond that used to have some card up his sleeve to manage some near impossible escape. As for the Tech end of it, one has to remember that in the high tech world of espionage and stuff today I am sure they have some gadgets that would seem out of the possibility. When someone develops some amazing piece of technology it does not always get publicized or marketed if there is reason to keep it secret. So yes maybe they do stretch the line pretty thin in the movies sometimes but thats what makes those kind of movies fun, seeing some thing and saying "Wow, wouldn't that be awesome if something like that existed?"
By reeyfermadness at 7:59 PM ON 11/16/08
To the wrist blowgun, it could easily be done w/ a real gun. Some very ridiculous seeming things do indeed get built :D Like those blades you always see in movies that ppl have hidden up their sleeves anchored to their forearms and popping out on spring action. Someone has a tutorial on how to build a sturdy and functional model that'll hide up your sleeve (though you better pad the other arm a bit :P). You could easily pack a gun into a tighter space than that took, though of course it'd take a bit of tinkering :P Or if you could get hold of some metal storm tubes, they'd do the trick just perfectly. Very useful if you're paranoid and don't want ever to be at the disadvantage (even if the mugger's got the gun in your face already) but then the police would probably shove a baton up your arse if they pulled you. And then send you to jail forever :D
By pov at 8:16 PM ON 11/16/08
"ridiculous," "far-fetched" ? The ridiculous is this inane article. It's amazing that no matter hwo far we come, there are always nay-sayers. "Oh there's no way we can go to the moon." lol. What you call "reality" is more like whatever limited view your mind can rationalize.
By DreadPirateRoberts at 4:33 PM ON 11/17/08
POV, there is possiblitiy and there is silly. The wrist gun not only defies physics as far as high velocity projectiles go (sorry Reeyfermadness), but It is just a dumb way to mount a gun. How many agents in the field shot their own hands during an escape or a fist fight?! And the credit card latch pick is just lazy writing. "How do we get him in? I don't know. I'm tired, just give him a magic window opener and move on to the next scene. And it will give us a place for the Sharper Image ad." I don't expect realism, it's Bond and I like Q's work, but it should not be so silly that I am taken out of the movie for a second while I chuckle at the gadget. Exploding pen, fine. Watch fax, kinda' silly.
By OVERFOREX at 6:46 AM ON 11/19/08
Bond that used to have some card up his sleeve to manage some near impossible escape.
By PeteA at 5:11 AM ON 11/20/08
So, I guess the gadget haters would really hate a car that floats, flies and seems to have a mind of its own.
Bond's creator, Ian Fleming, did just that with his Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang. Fleming loved gadgets and would probably love the submarine car.
Chitty's inventor (played by Dick Van Dyke in the film) was a wacky gadget inventor himself.
Think I could buy one of those laser watches at Sharper Image?
On a side note, it is well known that James Bond is a time lord, explaining once and for all how he can change appearance and personalities on a regular basis... as well as having gadgets that earthlings have yet to invent.
By eon at 5:59 AM ON 11/20/08
Most of the gadgets in the list are in fact ludicrous, but the dart-gun wristband and the rifle ski pole are in fact pretty realistic. "Sleeve guns" of various types were used by the SOE and OSS in WW II, usually firing .32 or .25 ACP cartridges. The largest one, the Welgun, was a a foot long only because it had a built-in silencer (the real thing, not just a "suppressor"). After you'd fired its one shot, it was heavy and strong enough to make a decent truncheon if you had to finish the job the old-fashioned way.
As for the ski-pole gun, cane guns were very common concealed self-defense weapons a century ago, and are still sometimes encountered today. With practice (and I assume that 007 does) they can be fired with decent accuracy even without sights- and he was trying to hit a man in the chest from about twenty-five yards, a pretty large target at pistol range. Quite realistic, actually.
cheers
eon
By Adobe at 9:59 AM ON 11/20/08
Half the "gag" was the gadget. The other half was the one-liner after the tech.
My favorites - after the exploding pen in Q's Lab.
Bond "the writings on the wall"
Q "Along with the rest of him"
Bond - "What's this?"
Q - "Put it down. That's my lunch" As Bond set down the sub sandwhich.
Many of the items were only seen in the lab.
By WhiteTiger at 1:02 PM ON 11/20/08
Honestly, as discussed above, /most/ of these gadgets aren't that far outside the realm of possible. The faxwatch for instance, would only have to have enough paper for a few lines which could be stored looped inside the band. Lexan windows. Guncanes. Most of these things can be explained if you read the other comments (most). But as stated above, the Bond films have always been about the 'slightly outside of possible' when it came to the gadgets. Nobody had /thought/ of putting messaging in a watch back when The Spy Who Loved Me came out. But a few years later, I remember buying a Seiko Messagewatch that served as my personal pager for several years till they shut down the service. I also found the submarine car much more unbelievable than the invisible one.
I really enjoyed the first Daniel Craig reboot of the series. I liked how they started from the Beginning, which to me explains why Bond isn't as suave or confident as he becomes later on. He's a 'brand new' 00, still getting his feet wet. I am actualy hoping that his confidence and suave are character traits that we can see him develop as the movie series goes on.
As for the best ever, I agree that Connery is the best, and many kudos to Killercroc for remembering Lazenby. Despite the only one movie appearance, he was a phenominal actor who pulled of the bond role rather spectacularly. I disagree with putting Brosnan at the bottom though. I thought he did a better job than Moore, but fell victm to over-the-top writing and directing. Dalton would be my vote for the bottom of the list. I thought he never quite pulled of the image of the suave superspy and instead looked like an amateur actor trying to fill the shoes. But thats my personal opinion, I'm sure others may disagree.
By stevefah at 2:00 PM ON 11/20/08
You can pick that kind of window latch with anything thin and long... like ANY credit card, not just a Sharper Image. The problem with most posters is that they lack real-world experience. (Not to mention spelling and grammar...)
Before you get all wrought up about a movie, consider how dumb your comment may appear 20 years from now. Use common sense when posting.
The movie Bond bears only a minimal relationship to the original (written) Bond; so just go with the flow. As far as description is concerned, Lazenby was pretty close to what Fleming wrote; however, I think Le Chiffre from the first Craig movie came closest to the written description of all!
Ian Fleming a spy for the US? Get some education, dang it!
By jillbilly at 4:01 PM ON 11/20/08
The Sharper Image brand placement didn't work out all that well for them, actually - I just got an email telling me they are closing all stores after Christmas. Another Bond kiss of death?
By YETANOTHERBONDFAN at 4:56 PM ON 11/21/08
RE: the gadjets - most are doable. They had one version of the car that was indeed a sub. It was a "wet" sub - it needed tanks inside, but it did along on its own.
If you were going to complain about "reality" - how about Bond running away from rocket blast while in a tunnel in Moonraker?
Now about the actors - probably whichever ones you saw first you liked most.
- Moore was the first choice for casting, due to The Saint, but due to contracts could not play it to start. It was more tongue in cheek for his movies.
- Lazenby, well just did not fit. He broke the mold due to getting married and having emotion due to his wife getting killed when they were aiming at him. He just did not "move" right to my mind - not as fluid as the others.
- Dalton's character would lie and deceit more to my mind - but he was a spy. It helped my standing of his movies because he went to locations I had seen recently.
- Brosnan was suave and again, due to contracts could not play when they wanted so they hired Dalton.
So, really, due to contract difficulties, they would picked two of the first five Bonds.
By BijouBob8mm at 9:08 AM ON 11/22/08
Actually, the polarizing sunglasses in VIEW TO A KILL are based on a real camera lens filter. These are designed to cut down on glare (from sunlight, for example) on glass so that you can see (and photograph) what's on the other side of the glass. (Go back and watch the film again. Bond's using the glasses to reduce the glare on the glass so he can see inside.) I've been using a set of those filters for almost 20 years in photography. Not to rain on your parade, but that particular gadget's the real deal.
By Britman at 1:48 PM ON 01/01/09
KEEP THE GADGETS COMING - WHAT STUPID BORING TWIT WOULD WANT THE GADGETS TO STOP IN SUCH A CLASSIC SERIES