Just when you thought you had grown the perfect goatee, along comes the GoateeSaver. Chomp on this bit and then you can shave around it for perfect results every time. Those three rollers up front let you adjust its height and width, flawlessly conforming to your face, and also to your notion of what a real goatee looks like.

Never mind that it makes you look like you have a high-tech muzzle on, a la Hannibal Lecter. Just spit it out when you're done shaving and no one's the wiser. Now all its inventor Scott Bonge needs to do is expand his line of shaving accessories to accommodate Hitler mustaches and Lincoln beards. Or, guys could just have a cup of coffee before they start brandishing blades early in the morning, making such $19.99 accoutrements unnecessary.

GoateeSaver, via Las Vegas Sun