This Doggie IQ test means that the illusion that “dogs are people, too” has come full circle. Once you've learned to talk with your dog, next you can brag to all your friends that you have the smartest mutt on the block, after you put the poor thing through the dozen tests in this book. There’s even a special stopwatch included to time the book’s five problem-solving tests and the seven tests dealing with learning ability and memory.

If you’re not satisfied with the test results, maybe if you play some Mozart for the dog, he’ll get smart enough to tell the difference between the words “out,” "sit," “stay” and “no.” After going through all this testing, during which your dog will probably think you’ve gone crazy, you’ll suddenly figure out that your dog isn’t the only one whose IQ is being tested. After all, he’s not the one who fell for this special stopwatch and doggy IQ book.

I Want One of Those, via BB Gadgets