This is about as fancy as toilets get. Kohler calls this sculptural throne the Fountainhead, which make sense — Navy guys would recognize that “head” nomenclature, and yeah, it has the equivalent of an enormously powerful (but quiet at the same time) fountain inside, electronically whooshing away all that, uh, waste in style and grace with nothing left behind. And it's green, too. Its Power Lite tech only uses 1.28 gallons of water per flush, far less than most old toilets, which use at least twice that much H2O.

Taking all of the mechanical effort out of the elimination experience, there are buttons on the seat’s front that open it — one button for girls and the other for boys — and LEDs illuminate your way with an eerie blue glow. After you’re done, a gentle push of the seat slowly closes it, and then it automagically flushes away your worries with a subdued sibilance that can barely be heard in the next room.

The dang thing is pretty enough to have your picture taken on it. Well, maybe that’s going too far. Available in June for $3,800.

Via Kohler