The Department of Homeland Security is moving forward with plans to erect a virtual border fence between the United States and our docile neighbors to the north.
Rather than use solid walls the Canadians could breach with a Zamboni, Secretary Michael Chertoff from the the Department of Homeland Security outlined the following measures: "We currently have a combination of infrared seismic sensors which are in the ground, remote and local video surveillance systems, and then of course at the ports of entry we have radiation monitoring devices." Unmanned aerial vehicles may also patrol the area. Similar tech, developed by Boeing, is employed along the US-Mexican border and has met with heavy criticism for the sensors' poor results.
Will it work? When asked what may be better a approach than the ill-performing scanners, an anonymous Canadian source close to DVICE replied, "say please." Threats posed by Canada include, but are not limited to drug trafficking, massed snowball ammunition stores and delicious bacon.
Federal Computer Week via Wired Danger Room
editor@dvice.com
By maksimir at 11:52 AM ON 03/06/08
sigh... I guess if this works I can't get my cheap booze anymore... Damn you Bush!
Seriously though... why do I get a feeling the next set is a Korean style DMZ?
By Paul Martin at 2:51 PM ON 03/06/08
Maybe the States will build so many tall walls that no one will be able to see or hear them anymore!
By BrokenBird at 4:57 PM ON 03/06/08
The way the economy is going, soon we will need a fence to keep the Americans out of Canada.
By Janie at 10:50 AM ON 03/07/08
Great idea! Build that fence! They don't talk our language anyway, saying aboot instead of about. Besides, what do they contribute to our economy anyway? They don't come over here to mow our lawns, clean out hotels and take care of our kids, do they? keep 'em out, I say!