Dear Vonage,
I've been meaning to tell you this for over a year, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I mean, you've been such a cheap date, costing me about $19 per month compared to those expensive hussy phone companies with their $45/month prices. Sure, there are cheaper sluts around, a Skype on every street corner. But how could I pass up a deal like you? I expected good quality of service from you, like I got from my ex-phone service. I figured, hey, I might as well stick with you for another reason, too: I don't really need to see you that often. A plain old telephone service like you is not as useful as it once was. Why? I have a confession to make: I've been seeing someone else on the side. iPhone. You've heard of her, right?
There's more. Even given the iPhone's beauty and all the special things she does for me, it turns out I need a land line like you for specific reasons. You know all these phones we have scattered throughout our facility here that you've had under your wing for the past two years? They're all connected to our plain old telephone service (POTS). Plus, until we get a phone call recorder on our PCs that's reliable enough, we're sticking with our wired-up recording system for all those interviews we do as journalists. But as a land line, you suck, and that's why I'm going to have to break up with you for good.
I mean, really, you bitch. What were you thinking when you just blatantly decided to hang up on that phone call last week — you know, the most important conversation I've had in the past decade? Yeah, that one, the negotiation call that decided my entire future. You hung up on my new boss, and to add insult to injury, I could still hear the poor guy saying, "Hello? Are you still there?", and he couldn't hear me answering him at all. And that's not the first time you've done that. Every time I talk with someone for over 30 minutes or so, you're all, "That's enough, I'm hanging you up." If that's not bad enough, then you go and crash our entire network at the same time in some sort of hissy fit. You know, I gave you umpteen chances, and you kept doing this me, over and over. I just can't take it. Heck, I hear even your own dad thinks you have issues!
Sure, you have some great things going for you. I'm sure some other guys will really like the way you're always ready to offer up that accommodating list of calling activity on your website, and that sexy voicemail system that delivers sound files to any email box. Nice. But one thing's for sure: Those dudes certainly won't appreciate the way you forget to turn off that blinking message light after all the voicemail messages are deleted, and they'll also resent your high-maintenance requirement of adding another layer of routers (or worse, replacing their own router with one of yours) to their broadband systems.
Then there's the clincher. You sound terrible! That's what you're supposed to do for me, right? But no. You won't let me hear anyone's voice at the same time I'm talking — it's called dual duplex, for your information, bimbo. And you're just downright slow. There's that annoying wait for a dial tone, and then there's that exasperating delay in conversations that I've noticed from the start, but I thought I'd get over it after a while. I haven't. This sound quality of our relationship is no better than a common, cheap cell phone. You're not going to change. So it's time to say goodbye.
That's it. I've decided to go back to my ex-phone system. Sure, her name has changed a few times since we were last together, from Ameritech to SBC and now to AT&T, but who cares? She's reliable, lets me talk and listen at the same time, and sounds smooth as butter. Sure, she's more expensive, to the tune of $26 per month more, but so what? I'm done with you, you cheap whore.
Good riddance,
Charlie
editor@dvice.com
By whocares at 5:43 PM ON 02/15/08
Why is this questionable article here? Tell him to get therapy.
By Curtis at 6:11 PM ON 02/15/08
Why all the hate?!
Vonage managed to survive despite overwhelming odds, under the attacks of all the POTS competitors who could find grounds to sue them on. They continue to innovate in a field where other companies are complacently resting on their laurels. Take for instance the new features at alpha.vonage.com. While sending a fax from the computer isn't anything new, it's nice to see Vonage giving it away for free. Combine that with eFax, and I've got free incoming and outgoing fax capability for the 4 people in my life who refuse to do business any other way.
Another nice thing about Vonage is that it is portable. Traveling to Europe and want to be able to keep in touch with home for free? Done.
And the included basic feature set is killer. Forwarding, voicemail, caller ID, etc. All that boring-yet-essential shit comes bundled for as little as $15 a month, yet the local telco charges about $50.
Call quality can be an issue, for sure. No doubt about it, if I'm running BitTorrent, my phone isn't going to work very well. That's where QoS comes into play though. It's not gonna work for people with high latency high-speed connections. It's not going to work for people who can't massage their connection. For the rest of us who just can't bear to turn loose of a landline phone, it's a great system.
Call recording and call blocking would be nice features to add in at some point, and I have a good feeling that Vonage is working on it.
By Azgoroth at 6:27 PM ON 02/15/08
I have to agree with the article, as a former customer of Vonage, I can vouch for every complaint he makes. The service just sucks, but it is cheap at least. At one point my wireless land line phones stopped working with Vonage, I had to buy some $5 corded phones at Walmart to even use the service. Lets not forget the tech support which was outsourced to India (I'm guessing). 30 minutes of being told to reset my router isn't tech support. Then they tell you to call some other number, and the person who answers is also from India!
By MrBeck at 6:47 PM ON 02/15/08
I've been a Vonage user since Aug 2005. I don't have the problems Charlie White describes. Calls go through, sound clear and aren't dropped. I've called support once and got the problem solved in 20 minutes. Whatever is causing Charlie's problems with Vonage I would suggest are not caused by Vonage or I would expect to have the same problems too. If I plug my TV into a 220 socket, are the results the the TV's fault, the sockets fault or my fault?
By dr op at 10:25 PM ON 02/15/08
dear give to ditail
By Jungle Jer at 12:11 AM ON 02/16/08
Maybe he was using a PC... I've been with vonage for a few years and never had ONE problem. Of course, I don't have issues with my equipment anyway.. I use a Mac.
Charlie... Get a Mac
Cheers
By JCfromNC at 3:52 AM ON 02/16/08
Geeze, do you think you stuffed that with enough misogynist ranting, or do you think you can squeeze a few more whores, sluts, or bimbos in there somewhere?
By bluegoose at 12:40 PM ON 02/16/08
Charlie,
Good riddence puts it mildly!
I have, also, been wanting to tell you that your phone sounded the worst of anyone's I regularly talk with but being the nice guy, that I am, hesitated to speak out.
I like the innovative and entertaining way you write. You make complicated info fun to read.
Keep up the good work in your new position at DVICE.
RC
By Tomzer1 at 6:20 PM ON 02/16/08
One important thing that most people are ignorant of, like the author above, is that Vonage's quality depends on the quality of service that you have from your ISP. This is their biggest flaw and one that they have to educate potential consumers on.
That said, I have an excellent ISP and I've had fantastic service with Vonage for the past three years. I dumped Ameritech/SBC/AT&T for Vonage and haven't missed 'em at all. I get much better call quality and a TON of free features that I used to get nickel-and-dime'd for.
And as mentioned above, I can take my phone service anywhere in the world where I have a broadband internet connection. Very nice.
\\\Tom\\\
By courtney2018 at 10:12 AM ON 02/17/08
Yea, I have to say I've got no idea what all the complaint is about. I've been using Vonage since 2004 and I've NEVER had any sort of problem. I call, for hours, to the UK all the time and NEVER get disconnected, poor audio quality, or anything else bad. The first time I read this I thought it was a joke. I thought this place for introducing new technologies and such. Not ranting like a child about personal issues. The articles on here were so much better, in my opinion, when it was on the SciFi site.
Spew your temper-tantrum on another blog or forum where that's the norm, Charlie.
Court
By dmalouf at 11:18 AM ON 02/17/08
I too have no issues with Vonage but have heard issues from friends. Sometimes there is some hearing problems on the other side, but this seems to happen as much on my cell (an iPhone) as it does here, actually a lot less on Vonage.
I think the ISP issue can't be underestimated. It is a huge issue. So I think most of your gripes above are actually about your ISP and not about Vonage.
That said, I think it says a lot about brand/product experience when you create a product that is so dependent on systems outside of your control you need to handle your customers differently. You need to be up front and find ways to help them. However, in this case Vonage is in direct competition with the ISPs who almost all have their own VOIP services.
But if you leave Vonage, where you are going to go? BTW, the main reason I keep a "land line" at home at this point is for Faxing purposes. It doesn't happen a lot, but enough.
By ross613 at 2:28 PM ON 02/17/08
While I too can't claim I've got all the problems cited in the article, I *must* point out that there's one quick way to detect a thread of truth in this article - just try calling Vonage support.
You'll be waiting a while - a long while. Even though I'm in Canada, my cable ISP is rated as offering the best service (it's far form flawles, but Canadian Internet service generally rates better in the U.S. from what i hear) and maybe that's one factor in why my Vonage service is performing better. But when anything goes wrong I can't get anyone at the call centre. For me, I'll put up with it to get the lower rates and say "screw you Bell and your $50-something-a-month service".
By bluebird at 11:09 AM ON 02/18/08
My daughter at one time had Vonage. She and her hesband got it solely because it was cheap!..... and cheap it was! She would call me and more times than not the sound quality was worse than bad and the connections problems were terrible.
They now pay up for AT&T and all is PERFECT.
No more Vonage for non tech folks like us.
Gin
By CyberWolf at 3:39 PM ON 02/19/08
I've been with Vonage for over a year now and never had a problem or any reason to regret giving up my regular service. Wit a great rate and no problems what is there to complain about?
By Kineticartist at 10:27 PM ON 02/21/08
If vonage leaves him for a whiny bastard with no sense of the real Ill take her Ive had her exclusively for 3 years and again like others my calls are perfect because I have a solid ISP with a blistering fast connection cmere vonage Ill love you up till one of us dies and Ill die happy knowing verizon, ma bell and the other ilk didnt get a dime from me.
By RTPMedic at 4:54 PM ON 03/03/08
I too have a good ISP and have rarely had issues with someone not hearing me or a dropped call in almost 5 years. Your ISP quality has a LOT to do with how well Vongae performs. Trust me, it is not 'Vonage' that has issues most often. It has proven to be a reliable phone service with great features, but I wish they would add a phone recorder like ViaTalk has.
By Mike101 at 10:25 AM ON 05/20/08
get a mac you will be fine ;)
By Tammy at 3:38 PM ON 08/29/08
We experienced the same sound quality and dropped calls problems. But the worst issue was that the kids school could not call us or leave automated messages which they use to send announcements etc. Vonage bounced us from one tech support to other and finally said the problem is with the school not them. Now we have verizon land line again and can recieve all calls. Vonage had the gall to charge us $96 for cancellation. I would suggest extreme caution in subcribing to this company.
By kschroppe at 9:17 AM ON 11/27/08
I have to agree with Charlie I broke up with Vonage some time ago went to optimum online and had no problems same voip idea done right. Cheap is good quality is also important and if you do not want us to work for you we do not want you to work for us. Send all you work to india let india use Vonage. I am heading this way from now on India tech support or call centers beware oh yea you too Costa Rica call centers you can't fool me.
By cgs at 3:31 PM ON 11/28/08
I have to agree. I've had vonage for a while and I have found it to be noisy, calls dropped, and calling features that don't work. And it's not cheap at $30/month. It's cheaper than the land line company, but not cheap when it doesn't work right. I've switched to Skype for $60/year I get incoming and outgoing calls and I've found the quality of the service and sound superior to vonage. Skype uses less bandwidth and gives me higher quality calls on my computer than Vonage. No matter how much I have downloading I don't have an issue with Skype, where I would have to shut down all my downloads to use vonage and even then I would get noisy sound most of the time such that I couldn't record the conference calls I was trying to record. Skype, sounds great with my recordings. And good luck canceling the service, did you notice there is no way to cancel Vonage on their web site? I recommended Vonage to a friend and it never worked right for him and he finally had to cancel his credit card to get Vonage to stop billing him. And that didn't even stop Vonage. He tried to cancel over the phone and they basically made him jump through so many hoops he hung up on them after 30 minutes and they continued his service after him telling them repeatedly to cancel the service. I don't think this is a good way to treat customers.
By Carol Patterson at 12:28 AM ON 11/30/08
Vonage works beautifully if the equipment, lines and connections are adequate...this article should be removeed...Charlie not only has inadequate equipment, his misogyny speaks to his own equipment, as well.