Do you feel groggy, in need of some pep? Do you also have either enough self-esteem to call yourself a nerd or enough self-hatred to call yourself a nerd? Well, there's a new energy drink with your name on it. Literally.

Nerd Energy Drink has turned your lonely, screen-tanned lifestyle into a demographic, and they're aiming right for your wallet. What makes it better than, say, Red Bull for all-night frag sessions or early-morning code burns? Well, it's called Nerd! Isn't that funny?! Also, there are some pretty vague promises of "special ingredients" which will "increase brain focus and memory retention." You know what else helps focus and memory retention? Getting a good night's sleep and some fresh air. That one's free, but hey, it's your money, nerds. — Adam Frucci