Bzzzzzz!

No, that's not the buzz of all us nuts on line waiting to buy a $600 cell phone (yes, the 4-GB iPhone is $500, but a quick poll reveals that everyone is willing to spend the extra $100 for twice the capacity). It's the bzzzz that Philip Kaufman made famous in The Right Stuff by placing it in the movie's soundtrack each time the media whores… er, hordes (slight error) showed up.

As previously noted, every major national and local news outlet is here to capture the crazy propeller heads. Cameramen and their homemade tracking shots, holding the camera and waist or knee level and duck-walking to scan the line and capture fascinating footage of tired people sitting down. They find interesting people to interview. "Look, he brought a mattress!" "You actually paid for that spot?" "What's so special about the iPhone that you're willing to wait on line for hours?" One guy, I kid you not, after asking how long we'd been in line, asked, "Are you going to buy a phone?" No, we're just here for the ridicule, thank you.

More of the "Bzzzzzz!" after the jump.

But the media isn't the only shill to take advantage of this large group of presumably well-heeled music consumers. We've been visited by survey takers from varying investment houses, record-company types handing out free CDs, babes passing out free magazines, sparkling apple-flavored water (appropriate), lemonade ("disgusting," according to my line neighbor), airline comfort bags complete with earplugs, eye mask, mini-toothpaste, mini-toothbrush and sleeping socks, bags of kettle corn, candy — even handheld electric fans, which have actually come in handy because the sun came out and we've been melting. A folding chair company is intermittently placing advertising sign stands and supplying free chairs. Where were all you people 11 hours ago?

The primary bathroom is in the Apple Store, which closed at about 1:40 p.m, which made the kettle corn (all salt), the lemonade and the apple sparkling water no-nos. With more than four hours to go and no ready restroom facilities, I've tried to moderate my liquid intake. Apple employees are making this difficult as well. As I type this, they are back gleefully wheeling their Gunga Din memorial water cart and distributing bottles of SmartWater. That's the name of the water. Go know. What we're missing is a medical supply firm handing out colostomy bags.

Bzzzzzz!

We've seen varying and sundry folks counting us, but no one has given us an accurate number. Our best guess: around 750-800, completed looped around 58th Street, north up Madison Avenue, then west along 59th Street. At around noon, some burly types from either Apple of the GM Building management pushed everyone forward to close up the space and make more room for people at the back of the line.

While visits from the press have slackened a bit (they're psyching themselves up for the big attack at 6 p.m. when the Apple Store reopens and sales begin, just in time for the local news), the gawkers have gotten stranger. We've been passed (but not formally entertained) by several oddly costumed groups. One interesting fellow has amazed the crowd by solving three Rubik's Cubes in less than two minutes each. He also rearranged a finished cube into several attractive arrangements. I'm still waiting for a guided tour of tourists to come by, led by someone waving a red flag, endeavoring to keep the group herded.

Lest I forget the neverending series of motorists (and one guy on a Segway) who roll down their windows to ask what we've in line for (we're too tired to come up with anything more clever than the truth) and tourists with cameras taking either stills or holding the camera up and shooting what will end up being unwatchably blurry 15-frame-per-second QVGA footage. After 11 hours of people rubbernecking and staring as if we were chimps in a zoo, we're ready to start throwing feces. But that would bring both the media and flies. I'm not sure which is worse.

Bzzzzzz!

— Stewart Wolpin