"Yeah honey, I just need to run over to Ted's house to fix something. No, I'm not going over to grill burgers and get drunk in the middle of the afternoon! It's a weekday afternoon, what kind of self-control-lacking slob do you take me for? See, I'm even bringing my toolbox! You should feel guilty for the lack of trust that you bring to our relationship. Look, Ted really needs me to fix something at his house, so we can talk about this when I get home tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. Gotta go."

"Hey Ted, yeah, check this thing out. It's a grill hidden in a tool box. Claire was suspicious, but I made her feel super guilty for accusing me of functional alcoholism and pathological lying. Hey, how many burgers do you want? Pass me a beer, will you? Man, I love the summer." — Adam Frucci

Sears, via Product Dose