This here is the Cellubike, a new gimmicky way to shed those unsightly pounds and smooth up the parts of your thighs that look like garbage bags full of tartar sauce. It tricks you into thinking you won't have to actually exercise, what with the infrared lights there to beam in on your problem areas. But the trick is, you need to be cycling at 75% of your heartrate while the lights do their thang.

It's brilliant, actually. Bring in the suckers with the promise of what is probably a BS light treatment, but get them to actually exercise in the process, making it work. Just accept it, people: you won't lose weight without exercising. It's just the way things work. You could go get a Cellubike, or you could save a boatload of money and just get a regular bike, but either way it's the bike part that counts. — Adam Frucci

Cellubike, via Born Rich