Are you paranoid to an unhealthy degree? Do you worry more about dangers that you have a minute chance of being affected by more than real life dangers, like becoming a creepy shut-in? Well, gather those rolls of nickels from under your mattress, Rusty, cause you're going to want one of these: the radiation detecting watch. In addition to space-age time-telling functions, the Gamma Watch also has a solid state radiation detector built right in, so you'll always know how much terrorism-induced radiation you're being exposed to. The protection that only a watch can afford will set you back $250, so you might need to save up some money by using tinfoil you get from burrito wrappers to make your hats for a little while. Fresh tinfoil, that's a luxury item. — Adam Frucci

Gamma Watch, via Red Ferret