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Alarm coffin makes it easier for zombies to get out
You know when you're just sitting around, minding your own business, when suddenly you get buried alive? It sucks, trust me. Well, you won't have to worry about having your last moments ruined by a frantic clawing and digging if you get yourself set up with one of Vitaly Malyukov's alarm coffins. Yes, now you can have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that when you're buried, if you happen to wake up, you can push a button and have people come dig you up. It really helps you eternally sleep better at night knowing that some horrific, unimaginable ways to go just won't happen to you, no matter how drunk your doctor is when he declares you dead. No word on pricing or availability as of yet, unfortunately.
Via Ubergizmo
By karpet at 7:09 PM ON 11/09/06
So Vitaly Malyukov's must live in an area with no embalming practices I take it. Around these parts, you are going to be dead one way or the other when they put you in the ground, unless it is mobsters doing the burying. Something tells me they aren't going to spring for any kind of box with an alarm on it.
I can only assume this guy was sitting around reading old books about people being buried alive, saw a picture of a coffin with a bell at the surface connected via string and said, "Hey, I can update that!". Bravo, I heard the horse drawn carriage is a bit out of date too, give that a spin.
By daenoctem at 3:50 AM ON 11/17/06
The perfect gift for this holiday season.....
No...
By daenoctem at 3:51 AM ON 11/17/06
The perfect gift for this holiday season.....
No...
By DavemanXP at 8:25 AM ON 11/17/06
I can dig it, man. But I would imagine waking up after an Embalming Fluid cocktail would leave someone just a wee bit stiff.., or at least with a massive hangover and may not feel putting out the effort in pressing the button.
WHAT! No fridge? Cheeze Louise!
By rjharlan at 4:30 PM ON 11/17/06
Obviously none of the posters before me knew that Jewish people do not embalm their dead so the fear of being buried alive is very real to them. Additionally, you do have the option of not being embalmed. I for one am going the cremation route but I will make them wait having read Stephen King's story about the guy who is getting an autopsy but is not really dead. Now that WAS a nightmare inducer for me!
By Mrs. Z at 3:38 PM ON 04/06/09
My 8th grade broadcasting student would like to use the above picture of a coffin for a public service announcement he is doing on the hazards/dangers of smoking. It would only show to his classmates. Would that be possible for us to have permission to use that?
Thanks for your consideration!
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Mrs. Z:
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